The Tragedy of Remus Lupin

It should come as no surprise by now that I’m a devout fan of the Wizarding World franchise, which has been difficult to justify considering its creator is a loudmouthed, bigoted windbag. However, despite all of that, you can’t deny that She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a gifted storyteller, providing very rich and layered characters for fans to continue pouring over for years until the end of time. And one of those characters I’ve only recently begun to appreciate.

Yep, instead of spending the necessary time to deal with my own deep-seated depression, I decided to do a brief study on a fictional character. I suppose it’s just easier to experience someone else’s sadness than my own. It’s the distance that helps, I suppose.

Overall, I feel like Remus Lupin has always been fairly overlooked by everyone. Despite being a very kind and selfless man, he’s very passive and quite content to fade into the wallpaper. Lupin was yet another potential father figure that Harry ignored in favor of Sirius Black. Don’t get me wrong, Sirius is quite the tragic character himself, but it always irked me that despite the fact that Harry had so many caring adult figures in the wizarding world, he always gravitated towards a man who preferred having a best friend over a godson. Sirius never wanted Harry, he wanted James. So much so that he made Harry a surrogate for his best friend, but that’s beside the point.

Remus wasn’t even five years old when he was bitten by werewolf Fenrir Greyback and cursed to a life of loneliness. The attack was in response to a bigoted rant about werewolves by his own father, Lyall Lupin. It was a mistake that his father would forever regret. Because of his monthly violent transformations and the danger he posed to everyone around him, Remus would never be able to be with children of his own age. Therefore, he never dreamed that he’d be able to attend Hogwarts… Thankfully, Albus Dumbledore didn’t want to deny the boy a proper magical education and made special arrangements.

While attending Hogwarts, Remus did the impossible: He made friends. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew discovered that Lupin was a werewolf in their second year and instead of shunning him out of fear, they embraced him. And in the ultimate act of friendship, during their fifth year, they all successfully became Animagi in order to keep Lupin company during the full moon since werewolves are only a danger to humans. Those years at Hogwarts would be Lupin’s happiest in his entire life.

Unfortunately, just a few years out of school, Lupin experienced another dreadful tragedy when everyone he loved was ripped away from him. James and Lily were murdered by Voldemort, Peter was seemingly destroyed, while Sirius was wrongfully locked away in Azkaban. Lupin was alone once again. For the next 13 years, he lived alone, in poverty, and in terror that anyone would discover his affliction.

Of course, any book reader or movie watcher can then recite the events of Prisoner of Azkaban, when Remus was appointed the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. There, he was reunited with one of his best friends and he finally discovered the truth about Sirius and Peter. Unfortunately, it was at the cost of his own secret being revealed. With that, Remus was forced back into destitution, but at the very least, he knew his best friend was alive, well, and free.

Until we get to the events of Order of the Phoenix when Remus experienced his third great tragedy. At the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, he witnessed the death of his best friend. Despite being absolutely devastated, did he have the luxury of breaking down in grief? Nope. While he was likely being ripped apart from the inside out from seeing his friend of over 20 years fall to his death, he still had the presence of mind to hold Harry back from diving into the Veil after Sirius.

Remus was alone once again, though it would not last. You see, Lupin never allowed himself to fall in love, not only because he was terrified of the possibility of passing on his affliction to a child, but also because he never felt worthy of someone else’s love. Growing up with lycanthropy, Lupin had internalized much of the wizarding world’s general disgust of werewolves, likely hating himself for a condition that he had no control over.

Unexpectedly, he found that he had fallen deeply in love with Nymphadora Tonks. Because he never considered that the bright and fierce witch would ever reciprocate his affections owing to his belief that he simply wasn’t good enough for her, he was content to never openly admit his feelings for her. Thankfully, Tonks took matters into her own hands and Remus finally discovered a happiness he had never known before. After overcoming many self-imposed obstacles fueled by his insecurities, Remus finally allowed himself the happiness that he had been constantly denying.

After just a year or so of bliss, alongside his wife, Remus fell in the Battle of Hogwarts, at the age of 38. As sad as that may be, it’s likely what they would have wanted. They gave their lives for the greater wizarding world.

Before he even turned five, Remus was destined to live a life of loneliness and discrimination for something that was never his fault. He endured so much hardship because of his father’s mistake and never cursed the wizarding world for it. Instead, he chose to suffer silently and eventually died for a world that hated him.

When I think about it, it really pains me to realize that such a wonderful person lived most of his life alone. In fact, when you do the math, he was alone for far longer than when he was happy. Throughout his life, he had 10 years growing up with the Marauders, two more years after Sirius was freed, and a single year with Tonks before their lives tragically ended. That’s approximately 13 years of happiness. At the age of 38, that means that Remus experienced about 24 years of loneliness. That’s something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

And now here I am, more alone than I’ve ever been and just now realizing how much I relate to Remus Lupin. Though I will never quite be as noble and selfless as him, I just hope that I can take an ounce of his strength and

Keep on… and hopefully, die happy at age 38.

Adam.