2023 was a Good Year for Me

One year ago today, instead of partaking in the festivities, I was sitting in the living room of my apartment alone, writing a blog. So while it might sound rather depressing, I had undergone a complete transformation physically and mentally.

My 2021 ended with pain and depression so much so that I honestly didn’t know if I’d make it to Christmas the following year. By the end of 2022, the heaviness of my depression had mostly been lifted and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in years. So while 2021 ended in hopelessness, 2022 ended with the most hope I had had in years.

Following Christmas, I started conversing with a girl on a dating app, slowly kindling something between us. During a family dinner, my attention was divided between trying (and failing) to pay attention to the happenings at the dinner table and the fascinating conversation developing on my phone. My heart pounded in giddy ecstasy with each subsequent reply. I thought to myself, “Could this develop into something significant?”

The following week, I rang in the New Year, writing a blog, acknowledging the many changes I made slowly recognizing my inherent value, and feeling the bright glow of a burgeoning romance. For the first time in so very long, I could confidently say that I was happy.

During the first week of 2023, my life changed forever when I met my person and we committed to a relationship. As one would expect, there have been lots of hard moments between us, but I can say that my life is better with her in it.

This year, we’ve shared many experiences laughing, crying (both happy and unhappy tears), adventuring, traveling, and or even just lounging around my house with no agenda. Every day has been infinitely brighter with my person by my side.

Unfortunately, my posts have regrettably gotten shorter as the year progressed, however, I’m not going to apologize for that. Instead of musing on my feelings and sulking in my depression, I’m enjoying my time with someone that I love and absorbing my newfound happiness.

So here I am, once again, writing my blog on New Year’s Eve. However, this time, I’m sitting in a hotel in Edinburgh, Scotland, listening to my partner snoozing at my side, on a bucket-list vacation. And I’m unbelievably happy.

It hasn’t been a perfect year, no. Any change, positive or negative, comes with new challenges; it just depends on how you face them. We were lucky that we faced them together, mostly on the same page. There were, of course, moments of excruciating growing pains, but we always managed to work through them. Not all of them were immediately resolved, but we’re managing.

Oh, and the suicidal thoughts? I’m glad to report that they’ve mostly been silenced, replaced by her adorable voice cracking bad jokes. Am I still working on myself? Yes, but I’m working to improve myself in different ways than before. Not only am I trying to be a better version of myself, but I’m trying to be a better partner as well. This time, I know I have the hope to keep moving forward. Thankfully, not just for myself now.

This was a good year. I hope you had a good one too.

Happy New Year.

Keep on.

Adam